don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
