Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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