Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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