He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
