Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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