ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
