And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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