My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
