Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
