i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
