I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
