3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
