East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We have started to decorate penises.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
