omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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