I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
