Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
