half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
do nipples grow back?
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