I'm jealous of your bromance
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
