In the future we'll all be gay
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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