pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Congratulations! We have a period
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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