she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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