What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
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