I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
