I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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