no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
