I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
