you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
