so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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