peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
