I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
