Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
