And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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