you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
