3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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