he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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