I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
