i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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