i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just want nice things and good sex
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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