You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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