Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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