I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
