are you so shy because you have an std?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
