I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
