it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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