wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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