So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
