her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
