Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
