I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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