Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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