exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
